Hello fellow sim golf enthusiasts and especially those of you on the fence who need a little extra nudge. This article may just be for you. Are you trying to justify making the investment of putting a golf simulator in your home? Is your spouse, partner, or whoever their preferred pronoun is, resistant towards the idea? I’m here for you, friend. Can I call you a friend? Is it too soon? We can define our relationship later, but for now, just know that I’m on your side. I’m an ally, and together, we are going to wear down the hesitancies that you may have or simply erode your loved ones until they cave. They may resent you for a bit, but I promise this will pass. And who will have a golf simulator? That’s right, you will! Over the next several weeks, I will outline the perks and benefits of sim golf because I’m a giver, and I’m here for you.
TIME
Ah, time, our most valuable commodity. There are only so many golfable hours in the day. And for many, golf is not the top priority. I’m not saying that’s right, but we all make choices in life. To each their own. We have families, jobs, businesses, and other commitments that all demand our time. If a lack of time is your kryptonite, then sim golf is your special lead suit. And yes, I had to look up the lead suit thing because I’m no nerd.
Have you ever played 18 holes in less than an hour? Not outside you haven’t, you liar. Don’t get me wrong, playing outdoors is great, and I love it myself, but in today’s golf climate, post-COVID, where golf courses are busier than ever, golf rounds are taking longer than ever. But it’s not just the golf round itself, is it? It’s everything that goes into a day of golf. Driving to the course, warming up, playing 18 behind the five-some the course said they don’t allow, maybe having a drink or two with the fellas after the round. And then having the misfortune of sitting next to Carl at the bar and listening to him give you a shot-by-shot report of his round, which I put on par with someone talking at me about their fantasy football team. But this is a rant for another time. Finally, the opportunity presents itself and you slip away from Carl, hop in your car, and a mere eight hours later, you are back home to an extremely happy spouse asking you how many beers you had. But that’s just her way of saying she is happy you finally took some time for yourself. You deserve it after all. Some of us can get away with this from time to time, and some of us think they can get away with it on a more consistent basis. They’re probably wrong but keep living in your little fantasy land of rainbows and albatrosses.
Now picture this. It’s 9:30 pm on a Wednesday (Hump Day!), and you finally find yourself with a free hour. You walk down to your basement to your very own custom golf simulator. You still get that tingly, exciting feeling, almost like you’re doing something wrong. But if this is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. No tee time necessary, and no need for the collared shirt because there’s no dress code here. Tighty-whities and a t-shirt are an interesting choice, but this is your fantasy. Who am I to judge? Flip on the lights, boot up the computer, and turn on the projector. Pour yourself a cocktail because the price is right. No tipping necessary unless you really went above and beyond for yourself. You take a few well-deserved sips and decide to take a quick trip across the pond and play St Andrews just because you can. You complete a quick 5-minute warm-up, and you're off to the first tee. No annoying speech from the starter tonight. The pace of play is no issue today; it's just you and Andrew. You make the turn and are feeling frisky; it's time for drink number two. You're not breaking any records today, so might as well treat yourself. You finish your round in a tidy 45 minutes and are off to bed. You contemplated playing a second round, but there's a special woman upstairs who needs to vent about her day. Some call that pillow talk; I like to call it foreplay. No doghouse for you, my friend.
Are you an alpha male? No, you're a beta? I can relate, and that's okay. Your time is important, too. But stop letting golf dictate when you can play and start dictating to golf when you will play. You take the bull by the golf horns and take back your time. Save your time, maintain your relationships, and get away from the Carl in your life. And if no one could tell Carl I have a golf simulator, that'd be great. Please and thank you.